Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
