you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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