In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
