I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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