I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize