He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
