can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
