Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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