one two three fourrrrnication!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
