Sponge bath it is.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
