He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this will be a night to untag.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
