Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
