her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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