Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
