It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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