I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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