Swine flu. Run for my life!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
