So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize