My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize