i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
