Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it's like iHOP with fire
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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