I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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