Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
