someone threw a dead crab at me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you would pick up someone in the library
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
