I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize