If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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