dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
