when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
