so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't trust your balls anymore.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
