It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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