I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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