Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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