one might say we're banned from that church
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
