I want to have your abortion
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
