He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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