I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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