you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize