Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
