Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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