That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
