My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
