I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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