my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
