If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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