My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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