PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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