I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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