Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
