Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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