There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I party with great urgency now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
