did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
