He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
