I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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