So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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