That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
