This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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