What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
