last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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