Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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